It's been a long year........

So..my freshman year in college is winding down and coming to an end. It's been a year of many ups & downs, and I learned so much through it all. I started off the year just happy to be in college. Happy to be away from home. Happy to be able to do what I want. Happy to be able to live MY life and no longer have the need to care about what anyone had to say to me. I changed when I came to college. I say for the better, but of course, there are some people I know from back home that might say differently.

I realized that I can't go around trying to please everyone else because in the end those people may not even be here with me. I learned that now that I'm in college, my life is about ME, my God, my education, my family, and the people outside my family that I consider family. Anyone around me who wasn't trying to lift me up or be positive and provide me with support didn't need to be around me. You can call it selfish if you want, but that's the honest truth. Why would anyone want a negative person around them all the time trying to bring them down? I told myself I wouldn't allow it. The people that weren't "with" me didn't need to be around me. You could get a "Wuz gud?" & a little conversation, but anything else wasn't too necessary. That's just the way I felt. People told me I changed but all I could say was, "When you leave home & go away for college you'll see why I am the way I am." Life changes and you begin to see things in a different light when you move away from college in my opinion. However, alot of things about college just reminded me of the childish shit I seen all through high school.

College was a place where all of us, I'm sure, matured somehow. But, in a sense, it also proved to be somewhat of an extended high school. People were still talkin about other people. People were still being petty & holding stupid grudges. People were still actin a fool. People were still showing out. And SOMEHOW, everyone in the school knew everyone else's business. This is extremely annoying to me because I don't like anyone in mine unless I tell you myself. But, shit happens. That's life. I felt as though even though people said they were grown and mature/maturing, they were contradicting themselves with little things and situations like these. We all need to grow and stop worrying about others. We live our lives for ourselves and not for any other person. We all need to realize that; rather sooner than later.

Not many people know it, but I went through a lot this year. A lot for myself I'd say because I'm usually not one to stress things at all. This year brought me stress with many things. I worried about my financial situation. I drifted from my Catholic religion, which wasn't a problem for me because it didn't intrigue me anymore. I was just Christian, but even then I drifted from religion altogether. I went through it with my family and even some friends. I even went through it with girls. It was just hard for me all at once.

But, I didn't break down. All I can do is pick myself up from this point and that is what I'm gonna do. Freshman year taught me the mistakes that I can't and won't make in the future and I'm going to do what it takes to make my life better. I'm gonna get my money situation right. I'm gonna handle my business when it comes to school. I'm gonna get back with God. And I'm gonna grow into the person I want myself to be. This year came with many, many lessons. Lessons are made to LEARN FROM. And life is just a long ass class lol. We must learn from life to be able to grow. We must grow from our experiences to be able to love ourselves and others. We must love ourselves and others to be able to live a happy life. I feel that happiness is the main thing we all strive to obtain in our lives. We need to learn from what we've been through to make our lives better and make ourselves happy. Period.

Now I've written enough..feel free to comment. =]